Maverik's Ashes Read online

  “Yeah, I walked right past two sentries on my way here. They had no clue I was even there. Talking non-stop, smoking! Who the hell trained them?” Maverik asked.

  “Who else? Your brother, he trains and oversees all security positions,” Grady told him.

  Maverik shook his head in disbelief, “How are you not overrun? How is the pack even intact?”

  “Maverik, look around you. You saw the village when you made your way in; it’s not what it once was. There’s not much here that any neighboring pack wants.”

  Maverik stared out of the window that looked out down the hill in the direction that the village was in. The village, as his people referred to it, consisted of a group of single family cabins all lining the sides of a little short swath of dirt road. They’d had little front yards and little areas of green at one time. But he’d seen as he made his way to Grady’s home that it was all just mud now, and dingy, having fallen into disrepair.

  “I’ve got some food, you hungry? Let’s sit and share a meal, Alpha,” Grady addressed him again as Alpha.

  Maverik shoved his hands in his pockets, looked down at the floor, feeling the weight of the title as it settled around him again after so long. “No,” he finally said, “No, not unless you stop with the Alpha shit. I ain’t Alpha here no more. And honestly, I don’t miss it one single bit. I’m not back to reclaim it. I just need to lay it all to rest. I’ve moved on as much as I can without addressing it directly. I’m back for that, for closure, to take a look at it one more time. To make sure that everything is the way I remember it and that my imagination didn’t make things worse. Then I’m going to lay it to rest once and for all. I need to let it go.”

  Maverik expected Grady to argue with him, to try to talk him into staying and retaking control, but he didn’t. He was surprised when Grady patted him on the back and said, “One of the smartest things I’ve ever heard you say, my friend. Come on, let’s share dinner and then we’ll talk.”

  After they’d eaten and Maverik had washed and put away the dishes, he joined Grady by the fire. They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s company after so long apart. Finally, Maverik could wait no longer; he needed to know. “Are they alright?”

  Grady met his eyes, knowing full well that he asked about his niece and two nephews. “Yes, they are.”

  “Are they like him?” he asked in a hushed tone.

  “Miller is, but Matty and Maia are like you. They have their moments, too, but don’t most teenagers? But they have you in them. Matty and Maia are good kids. Maia is the one that brings me supplies and checks on me.”

  “They don’t have me in them, that was made perfectly clear,” Maverik answered, a hint of the old pain still present.

  “It’s blood, son. They are related to you even though they ain’t your children.”

  Maverik inhaled deeply, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, he suddenly wasn't there anymore; he was back on the night he left the pack. The sounds, the smells, the sights, all so real he had no doubt he was living it again.

  He’d been away on an overnight trip to negotiate peace with a neighboring pack and was anxious to be home, so he’d decided not to spend the night and to make the late night trip home. He stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind himself. He could hear the muffled moaning and deep breathing before he even set his bag down inside the door. His kids were sitting in front of the TV, his sons playing video games, his daughter playing with her baby dolls. His daughter greeted him, “Hi, Daddy.”

  He didn’t miss the snort that his oldest son, Miller, gave at Maia’s greeting for him. He’d been catching a shit load of attitude from the boy lately, and he was trying to decide if he wanted to try to have a sit down with him or just plain whip his ass. Right now the whipping his ass was sounding more appealing. But for the moment, he had other things grabbing his attention.

  “Hey, baby girl, where’s Momma?” he returned his attention to Maia.

  “She went to bed early; she said she had a headache,” Maia told him.

  “She ain’t sleeping,” Matty told him, not taking his eyes off the TV screen where he was intently killing zombies.

  No, she wasn't sleeping, he could hear her, and he prayed to the Great Father, that what he was hearing wasn't what he was hearing. He quietly made his way down the hall, every step confirming what his heart already knew; his Mate wasn’t alone in their bedroom.

  He barely controlled the Wolf inside him as he reached out, turned the knob of the bedroom door and gave it a shove. All hope was lost as he took in the scene before him. His Mate was lying in the middle of their bed, her legs raised, wrapped around the waist of the male that pounded into her. Her head was thrown back, and the male fucked her so hard that it occurred to Maverik that she may have bruises in the morning. Neither noticed him there, which gave Maverik the upper hand as he rushed forward half shifted, grabbed the male by the throat from behind and proceeded to rip him off of his Mate and drag his naked body down the hall all the while roaring his outrage. His Mate, Malina, jumped up from the bed screaming and flung herself still naked at his back as he drug the male down the hall, out onto the porch and threw him into the small front yard of their cabin. She rode his back the whole way, screaming his name, begging him not to kill the male. He threw her off his back and immediately attacked the male. It was a brutal fight, ripped tissue, blood flying, snarling, but he was going to do this as a man, or he was until the male shifted. So Maverik shifted, too, and they went at it again. They were both damaged, torn, bloody, but on and on it went. The children were on the porch sobbing, his Mate was screaming for help, picking up rocks to throw at him to try to save her lover. The pack had gathered and were standing around in different stages of emotion, watching the battle progress. But he saw none of it, because he had just thrown the male onto his back and buried his fangs into his throat. Now, one simple shake of his head and the male would be dead, but his kids stopped him. His oldest son, Miller, ran out on the lawn, throwing himself onto the Wolf that was Maverik, sobbing and screaming, “Don’t kill my dad! Stop, stooooppppp! Don’t hurt my dad!” And suddenly Maverik realized that he wasn't screaming at the other wolf; he was screaming at Maverik. Maverik looked down at the wolf whose neck he currently had his jaws locked around, the wolf that had been fucking his Mate in his own bed while his kids were in the living room, the wolf that was his own fucking brother. Miller screamed again to let his daddy go, and realization hit him. He let go of his brother and shifted back; he was barely human and his growly voice was not easily understood, “Malina?” he snarled, lip curled, fangs exposed even in his human form.

  She cried, screamed nonsensical sounds, but no clear reply.

  “MALINA!!!!!” he snarled again, louder.

  “What?!” she screeched at him, “What do you want me to say? I love him, I’ve always loved him!” she answered as she dropped to her knees on the porch. Maia and Matty immediately went to her and wrapped their arms around her, both of them still crying.

  He was devastated; she was his Mate, the mother of his children, and she’d just admitted that she’d always loved his brother, which meant that she’d never loved him.

  He gathered his strength again, “Malina, the kids?”

  She raised her eyes to his, still crying, but before she could answer, he heard his brother stirring on the ground behind him, “Mine, they’re mine! You fucking idiot, you couldn't even tell they weren’t yours; you don’t deserve to be Alpha, I do! I’m the better choice, and those fucking kids are mine!” he tried to scream at Maverik. He had managed to get to his knees, but was coughing as he struggled, Miller now trying to help him get to his feet.

  Maverik stood there, his entire world crumbling around him, his Mate betrayed him with his own brother, his brother betrayed him with his Mate, and now he’d learned that his own kids, the kids that he’d adored more than life itself, weren't even his.

  He raised his eyes to Malina’s again, his own filling wi
th tears, “How? Why?” he barely managed to get out.

  “I’ve loved him all my life, and he loves me, too. My dad made me mate you because you were Alpha. He said if I could love one twin, I could learn to love the other. I had no choice. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Once Miller was born, and I figured out you couldn't smell that he was Renegade’s child because ya’ll are twins, too; I knew that we could be together and you’d never know. We’d both have what we wanted; you’d have a Mate and kids, and I’d have Renegade. Win-win.”

  “Win-win? Are you out of your fucking mind?” he raged. “Win-win? For who?” he screamed. “You made me believe that these children are mine! You allowed me to fall in love with them, to fucking live for them! And they aren’t even mine! How is that a fucking win?” he bellowed.

  The dumb bitch had the nerve to say, “Well, they are your niece and nephews.”

  Maverik fucking lost it! He took a step toward her, he was going to kill her; but he couldn’t, the kids clinging to her needed their mother. He turned on his brother and was going to kill him, but as he approached, his brother jumped to his feet and attacked him with a hunting knife. He felt the burn of the slice as it cut through his face from the corner of his eye to the corner of his mouth, but he didn't stop. He let loose all the fury and heartbreak that had just been dumped on him, and he beat his brother into unconsciousness. He stopped only when Miller threw himself across Renegade in an effort to protect the male, still screaming not to kill his daddy. It was then that he realized that Malina and his other two kids; correction, his other nephew and his niece were clinging to his back and arms trying to stop him from killing Renegade. It was then that he saw the sheath the knife fit into clenched in Miller’s hand. The child had slipped Renegade the hunting knife.

  “They know,” he said, a statement, not a question. “How long have they known?” he bellowed at her, whirling to face her, blood flying from the slash across his face.

  Her reaction to his appearance should have had him worrying, but it didn’t; he couldn't fucking care less about the gash on his face. His life was ending; what the fuck did he care if he had a slice from his eye to his fucking mouth.

  She seemed to gather her courage, as though she had a right to tell them, and be offended that he had a problem with it, “We told them a few months ago, when Renegade decided that he would challenge you for Alpha. They needed to know so that they wouldn't be upset when you leave.”

  “When I…” he didn't finish. He turned to the pack that had assembled in a loose group. “Did you know?” he screamed at them, “Did you know?” he bellowed.

  He got an assortment of “No’s” and “Not exactly.”

  He just stared at them until one was brave enough to step forward, “Some of us knew about the affair, but we didn’t know they wasn’t your kids.”

  Another stepped forward, “We had no clue about the challenge. We’d have told you about that.”

  Maverik huffed out an unbelieving laugh, “So it’s okay to keep the fact that my brother and my Mate are fucking each chance they get, a secret from me? But it’s not okay to keep the fact that he wanted to challenge me a secret?”

  “Well, yeah,” the male answered him, “priorities, dude. I mean, they been fucking since they was sixteen. That ain't never stopped.”

  Maverik looked around at them, then turned and looked at the house behind him, looked at the woman that was his Mate on the ground tending to her lover, the father of her children. The children that he now knew were his niece and nephews, and he started walking. He moved through the pack where they'd gathered in front of the house, and they parted to let him through.

  He was in a stupor, his entire life a lie, his children stolen from him, his heart ripped out, his soul dead. And his fucking pack was no more loyal than she had been. They’d known; they’d made no effort to do the right thing, to stand up for him as he’d gone about his life, trying make all their lives better. He was so fucking done. He was not capable of logical thought. He allowed his Wolf to guide him, because that’s all he had left, his Wolf. And as he made his way up to Grady’s cabin, he made a solemn vow. A vow to both himself and his Wolf. Never, not one single time, would he ever allow a woman, any woman, to get close enough to him to destroy the little bit of life he still had inside him. That life was his Wolf, and he would protect him at all costs.

  Chapter 3

  As Maverik came back to himself, he realized that there were tears streaming down his face. He sat back and wiped them away with the palms of his hands.

  “They’re alright, Maverik. The kids are good. Malina is…”

  Maverik cut him off, “I don’t care about Malina. I don’t care about Renegade. I just need to make sure that the kids are good. And that they know that I love them, in spite of all the shit.”

  “They know that, son. They know that you were hurt, devastated. They know why you left. Well, Maia and Matty do, Miller is just a smaller version of Renegade. He don't care about anybody or anything as long as he has what he wants.”

  Maverik just nodded; he had no doubt that Miller was just like Renegade. “Thank you for watching over them for me. I was in no shape to look after myself, much less them. I really appreciate it.”

  “When you came here that night, asking me to watch over them, I was honored. I’d do it again if you needed me to,” Grady said. “In spite of everything you’d just dealt with, you still found it in your heart to trust me, and I’m part of this pack, too. I was humbled by your request, still am.”

  Maverik reached out and patted the old man’s leg.

  “He’s been good to ‘em?” Maverik asked.

  “He’s not good to anybody, but he’s been decent enough,” Grady answered. “They love the male; they know he’s their father, and they love him. But loving someone doesn’t mean that you like them. I don’t believe that either one of them really likes him, and I know they don’t respect him. They pretty much just bear their lot in silence, quietly doing their own thing, subtly not following his dictions. He knows their mindset just as they know his; they leave him alone, he leaves them alone, and they keep a wary eye on each other.” Grady grinned a little private smile, “There was this one time that Maia stood up to him; he lunged to put his hands on her to teach her her place. Matty almost ripped his face off, half shifted, nose-to-nose… it was tense for a minute or two; then, Renegade made like he was being patient with his kids. He told Matty he was right to stand up for his sister, he’d learned well, then he turned and walked away. He walked away ‘cause he knew that Matty would whip his ass right there in front of the whole pack,” Grady chuckled thinking about it.

  Maverik sat there for a moment, not saying anything, just reliving all the past, taking in what Grady was describing. Trying to figure out why it didn't hurt like it used to. Oh, it hurt, but not like before. Was it just that it had been so long or was it that he was finally making peace with it? He wasn’t sure, but he did know one thing; he needed to see them to close that part of his life that he’d left wide open.

  “Do you think it would be possible to see them?” Maverik finally asked.

  Grady nodded, “Maia is due by here tomorrow mornin’ to check on me. Why don’t you tell me about your life and then get some rest. She’ll be here tomorrow morning, and we’ll take it from there.”

  Maverik just nodded again, looking down at his hands.

  “She’s going to be happy to see you, Maverik. Maia’s asked about you repeatedly over the years. She’s always seen your side of things and felt horrible that you had to live through the betrayal that her parents put you through.”

  Maverik offered him a half smile.

  “Now sit back, son, and tell me all about your life. Why do you smell like bears?”

  Maverik laughed and settled in to tell Grady all about the life he’d managed to build and the clan that had become his life’s blood. He told him about how he wandered for a while before joining the military, but he didn't go into too much detail. He kn
ew well that Grady knew all about it. He’d sent him letters from time to time; he’d even sent him the medals that he’d been awarded. The purple hearts were self-explanatory, but the others, the ones that said only, “For Meritorious Service,” with no further explanation; those were the memories he didn't like to think about. He’d been in a special regiment that had no name. A regiment that was made up of other males like him, and they'd been sent into the heart of the most volatile conflicts. Tasked with missions that would haunt him forever, but back then he’d only been a ghost of himself anyway so he’d just done what he was told. His dreams, that was where he paid the price. The memories of combat and the memories of his kids; well, his niece and nephews; that was what haunted him now each time he tried to close his eyes at night. Ironic, he thought, the Ghost as they called him, had become the haunted. He wondered from time to time what became of the other males he’d served with. He guessed that they’d been allowed to retire just like he had on the condition that they never spoke of what they’d done. The government liked to pretend that they didn't know of shifters’ existence, but they knew. And they used it to their advantage, though that was a story for another day.

  What he did tell Grady of in detail was his clan. Of Kaid and all of his brothers and sisters. The Bears, Lions, humans and even Dragons that had become his family. Grady listened, smiling and asking questions from time to time. Then Maverik mentioned Valerie, and something in his voice had Grady sitting forward, his interest peaked to better see and hear Maverik as Maverik’s eyes took on a dreamy quality as he spoke of her. Grady smiled his knowing smile, “She yours, son?” he asked Maverik.

  Maverik stopped talking, realizing how much he’d given away. He paused, looking down at his hands where they were clasped between his knees as he leaned on his elbows propped on his thighs. “Yeah. Yeah, she is. She’s everything good and perfect in this world. And I’ve been really shitty to her. I don’t know if she’ll even consider hearing me out when I go back, but I’m gonna try. It’s why I’m here, to put the past to rest, so I can move on. I’ve allowed my past to rule my present for far too long, and I can’t allow it to steal my future, too.”